Homeward Bound

Paul's ongoing sinusitis saga has failed to cease, even after the painful decision to give up the cigs. We're going home on the 2nd April so that he can have an operation to remove his face... or something similar - I wasn't really listening. Anyway, it's cost an extra fucking 30€ to check-in a musical instrument (Nicole's coming back with us), so if there's so much as a scratch on any of her keys I'm gonna kick some Thomson Airline ass.

Smuggling Tortoises

Paul managed to sneak a tortoise back from Morocco. Ilegal? Probably, but then so is harbouring an endangered Sumatran ape. Ruth spent an insane amount of money on a proper vivarium and all this UV shit. I've been for the odd sunbathe.

Maroc

I felt like I needed a break, so I used my salary from the schools to take Paul and Ruth on a cheap last minute holiday to Morocco.

Our hotel:

Marrakesh Town Centre

We hired a car and drove into the mountains.

...and look what we found:

My tan has already faded in the icy Parisian weather. Pretty depressing.

Go Sport!

Having officially given up smoking (gasp!) for over two months now, Paul has decided that we need to do more healthy shit than just boozing and watching wildlife documentaries on France5. We've started swimming and he bought us this big fucker, which takes up half of the bedroom:

Le singe paresseux

What has become of my lovely website? Basically, when I moved out of the squat I forgot my camera's docking bay and it costs 75€ to replace it (so I can't charge the bastard). Also, I'm stealing wireless internet from one of the local French fools (hence the laptop being right by the window), and sometimes it's a little temperamental and shitty.

Déménagement

Growing tired of shitty Russian landlords, I moved out of the squat in the 14th Arrondissement. My new apartment is far classier, and the return of my original deposit enabled me to buy an expensive piano. I call her Nicole.

La Saint-Sylvestre à Paris

Crispy flew over to stay with Paul, Ruth and I for NYE...

...and I knew it was gonna be a messy one. We accidentally got so trashed the night before that Paul nearly wrote himself off for the actual night with a hangover. Luckily, I knew the solution: A few beers and a curry in bed.

After that we were all set to meet Lukas, and where better than at the Moulin Rouge?

It was all just a blur after that vodka really.

Paris By Night

Paul finally bought us a monthly travelcard, so we can get out and about in Paris a bit more.

At least we don't have to faff about jumping barriers at Metro stations anymore.

Hangman

I played Hangman for the first and only timę with the kids the other day. They went absolutely apeshit - I simply couldn't control them. From now on I'm gonna sit and drink coffee while they read through shitty little English passagęs.

I'm not sure how much longer I can stick this crazy teaching shit. It's having a real impact on my usual boozing ąntics. At least I'm getting paid reasonably well, I guess. I've started doing really bizarre shit like sightseeing instead of nipping down the pub. I wonder how much longer this will last.

In my classroom:

Wanker

I received an email earlier this week, notifying me that some muppet had posted a comment on YouTube about the footage I recovered of my great grandfather, Big Monkey.



redmistpete said:
"It's a fake, you idiots - look closely at the monkeys hands and you might notice that he isn't playing the right notes. Nice try though."

bigmonkey says:
"...and the fucking International YouTube Twat Of The Year Award goes to..."

One Night In The Midlands

I decided to spend Halloween with P.M. as I haven't seen her for many years.

Unfortunately Paul had to get a train back from Coventry to shitty Rugby, so we didn't get too mangled.

One Night In London

Boycotting my plans to go to Poland again, I decided to go back to England for my 'fish & chip fix' - there was also a critically unhealthy amount of curry consumed.

Crispy said that we could crash at his UCL gaff if John drove us down to London, so we got on it straight away.

His student union was way better than ours (and cheaper), but after a while we decided to fuck off to Old Street to meet Phil and Jase.

Sooz, Dan & Phil

Big Jase!

One Night In Paris

My new housemates cooked up a cracking meal.

Then we decided to go on a big fat bender in Paris. About cocking time, but it is dangerously expensive to drink in bars here. I'd better get myself a higher paid job.

I have no idea how I got home, but I was in safe hands at least.